Hello guys. New tutorial here and this build is from MagmaMusen, go check his channel for awesome videos. This requires minecraft 1.9. So let's start.

First of all you'll need a 2x3 empty space. First decide where would be the front. Now on the left side spawn some armor stands(make sure they're straight), put a chainmill on the armor stand. Do this on the right side also. Now destroy the middle front block and PUSH the armorstands inside them using pistons. Now from above push your block of choice using pistons also. Now just soround that block with your block of choice. Now put your Iron pressure plate. It should look like a keyboard. Then put an Iron trapdoor facing the keyboard and activate it. Then put a button beside the keyboard, that would be the mouse. Lastly put the painting in the trapdoor and you should be DONE!

But you can also IMPROVE it. By adding a "printer". Which is also in THIS tutorial. Now just dig a block beside your monitor(Iron Trapdoor). Then in the hole put a white banner and put a torch beside it. Now put a stone slab just above the banner's hitbox. It should look like a printer with a paper.

Just Dont Forget The Chair ;)

I'll add images soon

Hello guys, it's been a while since i didn't post. It's because I'm working on something BIG. It's just CRACKED MINECRAFT! Yep, you can now play minecraft for free! Its perfectly FREE and ofcourse: NO VIRUS! You can play it online or offline. No Internet = No problem! 


HOW DO I DOWNLOAD?
  Pretty easy. Just keep scrolling UNTIL you see the big DOWNLOAD BUTTON. There are no ads on this post for your convenience. Just that easy


SPECIAL FEATURES
 - Choose your own IGN! You can choose your own In Game Name freely.
 - SKINS! Yep, but you need to use premium IGNs to have their skins (If you use DanTDM you will have his skin). You don't need their passwords, just put their IGN on the "USERNAME". But you can't use them on a server if someone already log it there.
 - You can use your PREMIUM ACCOUNT or a CRACKED ACCOUNT. There's a difference between the two. The Premium account can join ANY SERVERS, Premium or Cracked. While Cracked account can only join CRACKED SERVERS. To know more about cracked servers read further.


 SERVERS (ONLY APPLIES IF USING A CRACKED ACCOUNT)
   HEY! You can join Servers! BUT it must be CRACKED. Cracked servers are meant for cracked launchers, like this one. If you have a server, or someone you know that has a server that you want to join his/her server, YOU must tell HIM/HER to edit the "server.properties" and change "OFFLINE MODE = 0" to "OFFLINE MODE = 1". This won't make his server down, but it would allow Cracked minecraft players to join. But beware, there are lots of hackers that uses cracked minecraft.



CLICK THE DONWLOAD BUTTON BELOW FOR THE DOWNLOAD

Hello and welcome to our Minecraft PvP Guide.

Here you will learn all the tactics professional PvPers use, and with good practice, you will become one of them.

Here are all the skills and tactics you will need to learn before going down the main road:

Basic things you need to do before starting to PvP

Make sure you have your sprint key bound to a comfortable key: If you have a big keyboard or small hands, it may be a little difficult to hold the ctrl key all the time while comfortably using WASD. Bind the sprint key to a key that you can comfortably hold down while using your movement keys, you can do this by going to Options > Controls > Sprint. I use Shift as my sprint key and Caps lock as my sneak key.

Make sure your FPS is good enough: If you have an fps over 60, great, you're good to go. If you have between 30-60, your pvp skill may be hindered a little. Anything below 30, you are at a fairly large disadvantage. There are many things you can do to boost your fps, such as install Optifine. You can do so by following our Optifine installation guide here.

Make sure your connection is good enough to play: If you get over 400 ping to a server, your internet isn't very good and you will find it hard to pvp on that server. You can check your ping to a server by hovering over the connection bar icon in your server list on the selected server. It will show "<Number>ms" The more ms/ping you have, the worse your connection is. You can certainly still play with 400 ping, but it puts you at a fairly great disadvantage. Any ping above 700 is pretty much unplayable.

Make sure you use a mouse; not a trackpad. This is very obvious, it is much easier to pvp with a mouse (preferably a gaming mouse) instead of a trackpad.

Make sure you have a nice resource pack to play with that features low fire. The default fire texture in minecraft covers up ~half your screen and makes it very hard to see. Search up "Minecraft PvP resource pack" or if you're not a big fan of packs and like to keep things default, here is a link to the default resource pack with low fire.

Strafing

Strafing is basically holding "W" and your sprint key and using your "A" and "D" keys to your advantage while hitting your opponent to make it harder for your opponent to hit you. If you just run straight while hitting your opponent, the opponent hardly has to move his cursor and can land all of his sword swings on you.

There are multiple techniques of strafing, here are a couple:

Zig-zag strafing:

Basically engage the fight holding either A or D, and change to the other key about 2-4 seconds later. If you keep doing this, eventually you will develop an instinct to move which way the flow of the battle takes you. By using this strategy, you can hold combos longer and make you a little harder to focus on for your opponent. However this strafe strategy is very easily anticipated/read by experienced opponents and easily counterable.

Circle strafing:

Circle strafing is pretty much holding "W" and your sprint button with either "A" or "D" (only one of them) until the end of the fight or until they turn around to throw a health potion or run. Since the zig-zag strategy is so easily anticipated, they will be expecting you to switch to a different strafe key within a few seconds, but you will keep using the same strafe key which will confuse them, once you get behind them and out of their line of sight or their far periphery, they will be even more confused and move their mouse around like crazy to try and get their cursor back on you. However, you must have very good accuracy to pull this strategy off, speaking of accuracy...

Accuracy

Environmental

Lava and water

When you extend your base, be sure that nothing fragile like torches or redstone circuits are on the floor in the area. If you strike a water source, it can wash such things away. If you are unlucky, you yourself can also be swept away (maybe into something dangerous) or drown. If you wish to be extra careful, you can place slabs around any redstone circuits you do not want to be accidentally flooded, as slabs block the flow of water.
Lava flows slower, but is much more hazardous, as it sets you and your wooden items on fire.

Sand and gravel

“Built on sand” is a real life saying which means “This won’t last long”. This is true in Minecraft, too. Not only are sand and gravel subject to falls or cave-ins due to obeying gravity, but they also have less resistance to explosions than other materials. Additionally, both of these block types have sufficient other uses (such as sand for glass and gravel for flint or coarse dirt) that it is best to use them for those, rather than as a construction base.
If you have a floor of sand or gravel, be careful when mining — digging near sand that isn't supported from below WILL cause it to collapse. Be wary of placing torches on sand columns which may fall. If such a torch is destroyed, you may find a creeper or other mob which spawned in the darkness.
If you discover a natural cave with a roof of sand or gravel, be extra careful. Even if you don’t choose it to become your new home, as soon as you place or remove a block near it, the loose sand or gravel will suddenly be affected by gravity and fall down, suffocating you, flooding the cave with lava or water and/or allowing mobs to come in from the dark cave/night above.
In the same manner that sand or gravel makes a poor choice for flooring or a foundation, obsidian is particularly good, due to its' high explosion resistance. While it is unlikely that you will be able to produce enough obsidian to build entire walls or floors out of it, it can still be used for foundations, wall trim, and entrance frames. If you are indeed going to use a large amount of obsidian, you may wish to see Tutorials/Obsidian farming.

Mobs

General

• Don't build out of wood. Yes, it looks nice, but it is fragile to explosions, flammable, and vastly more labor intensive to produce as a building material, than other blocks. If you must use it, build three block thick walls, with a cobblestone core, and a wood facade as the outer two. If you are in multiplayer, someone could burn your house.
• For general construction, cobblestone is ideal. It is easily obtainable, (via either mining or a cobblestone generator with lava and water, which can be constructed in the vanilla game) is non-flammable and impervious to Ghast fire, and also has a decent resistance to explosions. Nether and stone brick are somewhat less plentiful, but more aesthetically pleasing alternatives, with the same defensive advantages as cobblestone. Obsidian is also an ideal choise, as it can resist explosions like TNT or creepers. However obsidian is hard to find and pick up, as it requires a diamond pick and lava, and is not very aesthetically pleasing.
• Mines and underground passageways should be no wider than two blocks, to discourage mob spawning. Torches should also be placed at four block intervals.
• Use a fence or a wall to keep all mobs except spiders and spider jockeys off your lawn. Though to keep spiders and spider jockeys out, just ring the top of your house with any block.
• You can create Iron Golems to defend your territory. These metal wonders will deal lots of damage to any mobs that come near it. They can be very useful for defending small houses. Beware of the Creeper though! Iron Golems will not attack creepers.
• Use a cactus fence built from two rows of cacti (like this:

(Note: The cactus has to be on sand.) or an alternating row of cacti and flames from netherrack to keep mobs from passing through it.

• Build a ditch deep enough that the mobs who fall in can’t get out anymore, which is either filled with lava or streaming water leading to a Mob Farm.
• Keep your home area well lit. Mobs only spawn if the light level is below 7; remember that a torch provides level 14 light and this decreases by one for every block away from the torch. Lit Netherrack works well, since it doubles as both a light source, and a means of setting mobs on fire, although there is also the risk of setting yourself on fire. So if you do want use this method, bring a bucket of water.
• Mobs don't spawn on water. If one or two sides of your home base are open to the sea, you don't need to wall these off. Extend your surrounding wall a few blocks into the sea, and this should be enough to keep the mobs out (Remember to put a lip on the top of the outer wall, as detailed below, to prevent Spiders.)
• An especially effective spider deterrent is making said lip out of burning netherrack.
• Another way to keep mobs out of your house is a staircase that has an overhang.
• If you are in single player, a door made of pistons keeps you hidden from mobs almost all the time. Place 2 pistons facing the outside. Then, place a lever right next to both of the pistons backs. Next, turn off the pistons, go outside, then make an arch around the spot where the pistons would stick out. Finally, where the pistons would stick out on the sides make a tunnel to your base. Make sure you can walk through it. When the pistons come out, the mobs can't enter, and skeletons can't reach through your door. Another good way to protect yourself from most overworld mobs is to create a long hall with a lava floodgate to burn mobs. This can be done with both pistons, or dispensers containing lava buckets. This will not work on nether mobs.
• Mobs cannot spawn on stairs or bottom-half slabs. Make roofs, catwalks, and even floors out of these to prevent mobs from spawning there.

Creepers

Widely considered to be the most dangerous mob in Minecraft is the Creeper, because of the damage it causes to buildings (they can effectively blow large holes in your structures). However, you are safe within your base if there are creepers outside, as they can't get close enough to you to explode. You might even be able to open your door and kill the creeper with a bow and arrows, as long as you keep your distance!
Also, be aware that Creepers can detect you and start their fuse from one block away, even if there is a low wall or fence keeping them away. Ways to avoid this are: build a wall at least two full blocks tall (even if it is made of certain translucent blocks such as slabs, fence or glass); or build your home with all spawning surfaces on all traversable paths sufficiently lit.
Different blocks have different resistances to explosions. Dirt walls will be easily destroyed by Creepers, while two block thick cobblestone will resist most Creeper explosions. Obsidian is explosion-proof, so you can laugh in the face of Creepers trying to destroy walls built of this block.
Cats are also a good defense, as Creepers will run away if they are in a short distance of one. Even if you've attacked the Creeper, it will run away as long as there is a cat nearby, so it is a good idea to put cats around your base.

Spiders

Spiders can jump 2-3 blocks, therefore 4 block wide ditches with over hangs won't protect you against spiders/spider jockeys. Spiders are two blocks wide, which means they cannot move through 1-block wide spaces. Since Beta 1.2, spiders can also climb walls and fences, so you won’t be safe in your walled garden anymore.
To effectively spider-proof your buildings, you’ll have to do one of these things:

1. Build a lipped wall (a wall with overhang, mostly at the top.
   and
   are common wall-top profiles). This lip can have 1-block wide gaps in it, since spiders require a 2 block wide space to climb.
2. Fences can also work as a wall-top and have the advantage of being able to easily look down to see the wall itself—handy for making sure nothing is at the door before leaving. The wall must be at least two high to prevent spiders, though this is true of regular cobblestone wall-tops as well.
3. Completely cover it with a roof.
4. Dump buckets of lava around your castle.
5. Build your buildings underground. As long as the entrance to the underground building is only 1 block wide and/or completely enclosed with trapdoors, no Spiders will be able to get in. A top view example:
   .

• You can keep spiders from climbing walls using glass panes/iron bars to create an edge. example:

Spiders can climb cactus fences, but they will suffer some hit damage doing so. Therefore cactus fences only reduce the chances and speed of a spider climbing walls. Either make multiple fences or one fence tall enough to kill any spider that climbs all of them. Each fence only needs to be one row of cacti, because while cacti can’t be placed next to each other, spiders are two blocks wide. Use the method in the General section for a version which works on other mobs too. (If you prefer a wall for keeping off all other mobs, you can use this cactus fence:

)

Skeletons

Skeletons are dangerous because they can fire arrows through gaps in your defenses. Wherever possible, fill open gaps with any of certain translucent blocks such as slabs, fence or glass to make windows.
Additionally, build low walls or fences in places where you may be in range of a skeleton, since they will only fire arrows at you if they can see you.

Spider Jockeys

Spider jockeys are dangerous because of combining the climbing and tracking abilities of Spiders with the ranged attacks of Skeletons. You must combine your defensive strategies for both skeletons and spiders. They're pretty rare, so it is unlikely, but not impossible, to encounter more than one Spider Jockey on the same night.

Zombies

Zombies are the simplest mob to defend against. With limited mobility and no ranged attacks, walls or pits will be enough to keep them at bay. However, zombies can break down wooden doors to reach you if you're in hard mode. If you're in hard, you can make a piston door so that zombies cannot get through, or you may make an iron door. To prevent other mobs using the entrance put a two high pillar of sand above the door, though this won't stop or even hurt the offending zombie. A way to prevent zombies from breaking your doors is to put the doors in sideways, rendering them "open" when you close them. Or you could make an iron door with a button on each side. Zombies can break down wooden doors and not iron doors. Zombies will not jump over gaps, so you can use lava trenches. If you are starting/low on Iron, you can use a fence gate or place the Wooden door parallel to either side of the doorway (when you close the Door, Zombies will think it is open).
You can also use traps such as pits, landmines, etc.

Ghasts

If you get lost in the Nether and have no choice but to start a new shelter there, or even if you just wish to try out Nether survival, your biggest problem is ghasts. They can fly through the air, and shoot fireballs that explode on contact with the ground (Although the explosion is fairly weak), and they can spot you from 100 blocks away. Obviously, a simple fence won't suffice. The simplest solution is to build a roof over your entire living area, preferably fairly big, in case you feel like expanding your house later, and start building a house in it. The best material would be glass, as you can see through it and tell if any ghasts are nearby before leaving your dome, with the downside of breaking easily if a fireball hits it and not being a renewable resource in the nether. A recommended material is to use cobblestone (or stone) as it is highly defensive against the ghasts explosion, and very easy to obtain.
Because ghasts require a 5x5x5 space to spawn, it is possible to create a large ghast-free area in a cavern by placing blocks so that there is never enough space for the ghasts to spawn. Start by walling in any entrances to the cavern so that ghasts can't wander in. Then you need to place blocks within that cavern to prevent any new ones from spawning (this is easiest to do in peaceful mode). The simplest method would be 1x1 pillars of any material, placed in a grid across the entire cavern, with 4 clear squares in each direction between each pillar. A more complex method is to place glass blocks in a 3-dimensional grid to fill up the entire space rather than pillars. The only limit to how large an area you can protect is resources. Once you have protected a cavern like this, you can terraform it, and it is actually safer than anything you can build in the overworld since the only mobs that can spawn are magma cubes and zombie pigmen.
A harsh rule in surviving in the Nether is never to build a Netherrack house as Netherrack is highly flammable and ghasts will probably tear apart your house before you can even admire your beautiful Netherrack mansion. (Think: Breaking netherrack with fists is quicker than punching stone.) Another harsh rule to follow is not to leave ANY gaps near the bottom of your house, or else fire will be able to come in if ghasts attack the ground around your house. It's strange, but ghasts seem to not be able to see through glass.
With the addition of the Nether Brick it is possible to build ghast-resistant structures of material that is readily available in the Nether. You can easily create the Nether Brick block by smelting Netherrack and then using the Nether brick item in a 2 by 2 square to make the block.
Maybe build a full obsidian bunker and an iron door on the very front. Obsidian is very hard to retrieve, so build a shell out of stone or cobblestone and cover it steadily with obsidian. Don't use a nether portal for your door, because if you have nothing to reset it, you can be permanently trapped in the nether and can't come home! (though you can use a fire charge to relight your portal).

15 facts you might not know about minecraft!

1. Sugarcanes grow faster on sand than it does on grass   

2. When soulsand is place on top of an ice you actually move a lot slower than you do on       normal soulsand

3. You have a greater chance on catching fish when its raining

4. The maximum number of blocks you can fall in survival mode is 22


5. A full minecraft day is 20 min. long

6. If you throw an splash of invisibility potion on a sheep, you can still see the wool

7. If you have a splash potion make sure you throw it up, Example: throwing splash of night vision up will make 2:15 but if down it will make 1:34


8. Zombies and Skeletons doesn't burn on soulsands


9. Repairing an item in the crafting table gives you a 10% bonus


10. Lapis ore is just as rare as diamond ore


11. Baby Zombies doesn't burn on daylight


12. Renaming a mob with dinnerbone or grumm will make it upside-down


13. Renaming a sheep with jeb_ will turn it into a rainbow sheep!


14. There is a 1.01 chance that a spider egg will spawn a spider jockey


15. Eggs have a 1.256 chance on spawning 4 chickens at once

   Have you wondered how Minecraft can produce massive worlds that are still chock-full of little details, like elaborate cliff faces and waterfalls? PBS' Game/Show is more than happy to explain in a new video. As you'll see below, Mojang's game relies on procedural generation, which automatically creates environments and objects that are at once random, but guided by rules that maintain a consistent logic. Mountains are always rocky and sprinkled with snow, for example, while the low lands are typically full of grass and trees.

   Minecraft is specifically using Perlin noise calculations, like the kind you'd use to create a rough-looking texture for a 3D model. It starts out on a very broad level, painting a basic topographical map, and adds "noise" through finer terrain details like lakes, shrubbery and animals. Importantly, it has just enough freedom to create unexpected delights, like the elaborate rock structure you see above -- as in the real world, there's an incentive to discover what's just around the bend.

   Procedurally-generated game content certainly isn't new. The Diablo series and Spelunky use it to keep their environments fresh, while Borderlands uses the code to generate one-of-a-kind weapons. The seemingly infinite variety of worlds in the upcoming No Man's Sky would be impossible without it. However, it's safe to say that Minecraft's absolute dependence on this math is what makes it special. Every playthrough can be unique, and there's so much to see and do that it could take a long, long time before you've explored every last nook and cranny.

Easter eggs

An easter egg is an intentional hidden message, inside joke, or feature in a work such as a computer program, web page, video game, television program, movie, book, or crossword. Minecraft

  

Holidays

April Fools

2011

The Minecraft "store" in seizure mode. The Locked Chest was a naturally generated block used as the premise of Notch's 2011 April Fool's Day joke. Upon attempting to open the chest, a message would appear stating that a Steve Co. Supply Crate Key is needed, and that one could be purchased at the Minecraft store. This concept is a reference to the Team Fortress 2 item drop system, where you can pick up an item while playing. One of the receivable items is called Mann Co. Supply Crate, which required a key purchased from the Mann Co. Store, a microtransaction system integrated into the Steam client. The font used in the GUI is also the same as the one used in Team Fortress 2.

Within the Minecraft store, there were many easter eggs:

• Clicking on the proceed to checkout button triggers a screamer in which a Velociraptor from the film Jurassic Park will growl loudly and fly across the screen. Once clicked, the Proceed button also changes its display name to 'Fiddlesticks!!!1.
• Entering items totaling over $10,000 into the cart causes a window pop-up asking if you are prone to seizures. Clicking OK makes the screen start flashing.
  • Later, the window pop-up said: "If you are prone to seizures, click cancel.". This was done likely to avoid lawsuits because of the rapidly changing color flashes.
• The script that causes the Velociraptor to appear has a reference to the Konami Code in it:

                //Determine Entrance
                if(options.enterOn == 'timer') {
                        setTimeout(init, options.delayTime);
                } else if(options.enterOn == 'click') {
                        _this.bind('click', function(e) {
                                e.preventDefault();
                                if(!locked) {
                                        init();
                                }
                        })
                } else if(options.enterOn == 'konami-code'){
                    var kkeys = [], konami = "38,38,40,40,37,39,37,39,66,65";
                    $(window).bind("keydown.raptorz", function(e){
                        kkeys.push( e.keyCode );
                        if ( kkeys.toString().indexOf( konami ) >= 0 ) {
                                init();
                                $(window).unbind('keydown.raptorz');
                        }
                    }, true);

2013

Main article: Minecraft 2.0

During 2013, Mojang released a pre-release for a fake future version to various youtubers.

2014

A post was added to Mojang's blog for the joke.

“	The long-nosed villagers introduced in Minecraft beta 1.9 have become sentient. They have taken over our skin servers and content delivery networks (CDN), so unfortunately you will not be able to change your skins until we fix the problem. We are desperately trying our best to pull the plugs, but we should prepare ourselves to serve under our new villager overlords. Singularity may be upon us.	„
	—The Minecraft Team

In-game, villagers still acted the same, (with their programmed AI) but they made different sounds. Every player's skin was replaced by a villager skin, complete with the trademark nose. Not all players had the villager skin. Skins varied by player. Other villager noises were implemented in non-villager parts of the game. All noises were replaced with the sound effects of Element Animation's "TEAVSRP" (The Element Animation Villager Sounds Resource Pack). Mojang also added in-game villager music. The title screen music contains a parody of the Game of Thrones theme, due to the new series starting in early April and also because of its being included in the original trailer for "TEAVSRP." Jeb also claimed the villager got his twitter account.

The skins were reverted to the way they were before on April 2nd, 2014.

Grum released the villager skins on reddit on April 1st, 2014. There were seven variants, including a base skin.

An updated version of the TEAVSRP resource pack, complete with the new music, was released by Element Animation on April 2nd, 2014.

Soon afterward; Element animation released this video.

Halloween

On October 31, zombies, skeletons, zombie pigmen and wither skeletons may sometimes wear pumpkins or jack o'lanterns on their heads. These mobs will drop these blocks if killed using a tool enchanted with Looting. This feature was added in version 1.4.2 for Halloween 2012, Halloween 2013 and Halloween 2014.

Christmas

From December 24 – 26, chests and large chests have their textures changed to Xmas chests. This was added in version 1.4.6 for Christmas 2012. Trapped chests, however, aren't affected. A texture known in the game files as "skis.png", was also added in 1.4.6 in the same folder as the Xmas chests, however these textures were added by Dinnerbone as a red herring. This was re-added for Christmas 2013, along with a new 'rain' - feature - pigs riding chickens (this is not planned to be fully implemented). This also happened again in 2014 with a new splash reading, "Merry X-Mas".

Textures

Some textures have hidden things in space unused by the game.

Guardian

When you open the 1.8 .jar in the Entities Folder, both guardian textures (in an unused space) say "jeb".

Armor stand

In the texture for the armor stand, in an unused area in the bottom right, the word "Searge" can be seen in a black box. This is presumably put there as a signature by Searge, the developer that implemented armor stands.

Zombie pigman

In an unused area for the zombie pigman texture, the words "THX XAPHOBIA" can be seen. This was written by Notch to give credit and thanks to the original creator of the texture, XaPhobia.^[3][4]

Splashes

Never displayed splash

Within the "texts" folder, there will be a document labeled "splashes". The document contains all the splashes you see on the title screen. One of them is "This message will never appear on the splash screen, isn't that weird?" If this splash is the only splash in the splashes folder the game will get stuck in an infinite loop. This splash message displays normally in the Xbox360 version.

missingno

If one were to delete the file splash.txt without deleting the META-INF folder first, the splash text on the title screen would switch to missingno. This is a reference to the infamous glitch Pokémon found in the first generation of Pokémon games, MissingNo.

Notch's Birthday

On June 1st , Notch's Birthday, the only splash that is displayed is "Happy Birthday, Notch!"

Holidays

Various splashes will appear all day on many holidays, like "Happy New Year!" on January 1st, and "Merry X-mas!" on Christmas day. They may change slightly every year.

Names

Easter eggs related to names of mobs or players.

Notch's death

When Notch dies in-game, he drops an additional apple along with his inventory. This, however, no longer works.

Upside-down mobs

As of 1.6, naming any mob "Dinnerbone" or "Grumm" (first letter must be capitalized) using a name tag or a renamed spawn egg will cause it to turn upside-down. This also can be done by summoning a mob named "Dinnerbone" or "Grumm".

This also allows Dinnerbone and Grumm's avatars to be rendered upside-down, which can be toggled using the "Show cape" button from "Skin Settings". This feature is intended.

Jeb sheep

Naming a sheep "jeb_" (must have underscore) using a name tag or a renamed spawn egg will cause it to appear to constantly fade through all colors. When shaved using shears, however, the sheep will bear wool of the original color of the sheep and not the color of the wool that the sheep appears to be. For example, when a blue sheep is named jeb_ and then changes to the color red, if shaved it will still drop blue wool. This easter egg is currently not present in the console versions of the game.

"Toast the Bunny"

When Ryan Holtz was developing rabbits, user xyzen420 requested Ryan skin a rabbit like his girlfriend's lost rabbit, Toast. Now, naming a rabbit with a name tag or a rabbit spawn egg called "Toast" will spawn/switch the rabbit's skin to look like Toast as a memorial.

deadmau5's ears

With the capes addition, Notch also added ears for the player deadmau5. The ears are "vanity items and are worn in addition to the player's skin", with the texture contained within his deadmau5's skin.

deadmau5 cannot disable his ears, as translucent part of a skin is automatically converted into a black color. His name tag is also programmed to render ten pixels higher to render above the ears.

The ears are set to show up based on the username, rather than the UUID of the player, meaning that if deadmau5 were to change his name, he would not keep his ears. They also remain visible when the player is invisible similar to armor, where as capes are not rendered at all if the holder is under this effect, as stated in the pseudo-code below:

IF (username == "deadmau5" AND onlineSkin == true)
  THEN {
    (render ears)
  }

IF (capeDownloaded == true AND capeDisabled == false AND invisiblePlayer == false)
  THEN {
    (render cape)
  }

Console tutorial world

Tower of Pimps

In the old Console Edition TU12-TU13 Tutorial World, at the Sandstone Pyramid, go to the top floor. There are four blocks of gold on top of a block of Obsidian, which is the "Tower of Pimps". The "Tower of Pimps" was created by Gavin Free of Achievement Hunter in their video "Let's Play Minecraft Part 2 - On a Rail!" and has become a symbol of the group's Let's Play Minecraft series, mainly as a trophy of their competitions in their Achievement City world within the Xbox 360 Edition and the PC version.

Stampy's house

In the console tutorial world, youtuber stampylonghead's house can be found with minor changes, such as the love garden was replaced with 4J Studios Love Garden.

.minecraft

"Important" message

In the .minecraft/assets/virtual/legacy folder, there is a file named READ_ME_I_AM_VERY_IMPORTANT with the following message:

 _    _  ___  ______ _   _ _____ _   _ _____ 
| |  | |/ _ \ | ___ \ \ | |_   _| \ | |  __ \
| |  | / /_\ \| |_/ /  \| | | | |  \| | |  \/
| |/\| |  _  ||    /| . ` | | | | . ` | | __ 
\  /\  / | | || |\ \| |\  |_| |_| |\  | |_\ \
 \/  \/\_| |_/\_| \_\_| \_/\___/\_| \_/\____/

(Sorry about the cheesy 90s ASCII art.)

Everything in this folder that does not belong here will be deleted.
This folder will be kept sync with the Launcher at every run.
If you wish to modify assets/resources in any way, use Resource Packs.


Ta,
Dinnerbone of Mojang

If you do end up putting anything in the folder, it will be deleted.

debug-profile results

The 'profile-results' in the 'debug' folder's first two lines say this:

---- Minecraft Profiler Results ----
// *cracks redstone whip*

Other

Minceraft

There is a 0.01% chance that the title screen will display "Minceraft" instead of "Minecraft". The beginning of crash logs can have the phrase "You should try our sister game, Minceraft!", too.

Enchanting symbols

The enchanting symbols shown on the enchantment selection contain random words using the standard galactic alphabet.

Disc 11

When the ogg for record disc 11 is converted to wave and run through a spectrogram, an image is created. Several theories for this image exist, but the most popular is that the image depicts the default player head and C418's autograph. There's rumors about the face shown in the spectrogram; some people say that this "face" is that of Herobrine. C is the hexadecimal of 12, so 12418 is actually C418.

The Killer Bunny

The Killer Bunny is a variant of the rabbit that is hostile to all players. This is a reference to The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

"Super Secret" settings

In 13w36a, Dinnerbone added a Super Secret Settings button, which can be viewed in the options screen. Clicking it will blare a random sound with a lower pitch, add a filter into your game, and change the shader of the screen. These effect may not work on computers without a recent graphics card as OpenGL 2.1 is required.

Crash Screens

When the game runs into a fatal error and crashes the crash log will also include a "message" such as "Hi. I'm Minecraft, and I'm a crashaholic." or "You should try our sister game, Minceraft!". The latter references another easter egg.

Item NBT Tags

If one were to use /give to give themselves an item that can mine a non-existent block ID (Any invalid block ID that isn't in the game) the text will simply display "missingno". This is a reference to the infamous glitch Pokémon of the same name found in the first generation of Pokémon games.

References to other franchises

Portal reference

The achievement for crafting a cake is called "The Lie" in reference to the phrase "The cake is a lie!" from the popular Valve game Portal.

Mario reference

"Achievement get!" is a reference to the Japanese video game Super Mario Sunshine. When mistranslated into English, the collecting of a "shine" would be proclaimed with the words "Shine get!"

Stick to Edge

The Crouch button controls whether you crouch or not. When crouched, your character will stick to an edge if you try to walk off. You simply can't fall when you do this.

Quick Inventory Drop

When taking the items out of your crafting table or chests, use SHIFT+LEFT CLICK to put the item, with all attached to it, into your inventory. Another way to do this quickly is to left click, then right click, and alternate, but this only works for crafting tables.

Quick Switch to Survival Mode

While in Creative mode you can quickly switch to Survival by just pressing the B key on your keyboard. You can switch back by pressing B again.

Nether Bed Bomb

When in the Nether, a powerful weapon is a bed. Place a bed down and try to use it. It will make a huge explosion.

Make a Snowman

Ever wanted to see a snowman in Minecraft?
Well, you can! These creatures are called Snow Golems. AKA "Snowmans." Here is how you can easily make one.
1. If you have 1 pumpkin and 2 snow blocks, place a snow block anywhere, and place another one on top of it.
2. After placing the two snow blocks, add the pumpkin on the top.
And then you've just made a Snow Golem/Snowman.

Break into the Void

First, create a hole to the Bedrock with a Pickaxe (You may need about 2 for this). Then, Place TNT on the top of the bedrock, all the way up to Layer 127. Explode the TNT, and you've made a hole into the Void.

Easy Enderman Kill

As of patch 1.8+, Endermen have become available/more common, and they drop Ender Pearls, which might have future use (none except mods now!). Just get their attention (put crosshairs on them), and trick them into falling into shallow water. Endermen are killed by water, as well as the sun!

Quick House

Got all of your supplies on the first day, but you don't have time to make a house? Take a door (3 X 2 Woods), mine a short tunnel into the mountain, and place the door so monsters can't get in.
All you have to do from there is expand and decorate (if you're interested.) You can also make an easy mine from this location!
It doesn't look as nice, but it's affordable in terms of supplies like wood!)

How to Find Dungeons Easily

To find dungeons easily you need to block yourself in a little room that you can fit in (better 2 blocks high and 1 block wide). Press the F key or the fog key you set to if you did in the options and rapidly press it. It should make everything but your hand disappear for 1 second. Every time the terrain disappears look for a monster spawner. If you see a monster spawner that's a dungeon. Note: If you are playing version 1.8, if you're in an abandoned mine it can be a cave spider spawner.

Free Coal

Put logs and fuels in the furnace you get charcoal. It's same as normal Coal.

Infinite Water Supply

There are a lot of reasons that you'll want to have a Bucket of Water on your hands (fire, building, farming, irritating friends, making a moat, etc.), but it can get really irritating having to run down to the ocean every tie you want some. Follow this quick tutorial, and you can have a small, endlessly full pool of water wherever you want it!
You'll need an Iron Bucket and the ability to dig into the floor a little.
1. Dig a 2 by Hole in the ground that is 1 square deep
2. Fill your bucket/s with water from the ocean or a lake. You only need 2 deposits, so taking 2 buckets is recommended.
3. Bring the water back to your base and pour 1 Bucket in each corner of the square in the ground.
If done correctly, you should have a still 2 by 2 pool of water. Every time you take a bucket and use it on any of the squares, the others refill it to fullness.
A simpler version by Ry: You will need 2 water buckets. Now dig a STRAIGHT line with 3 holes like this: If "=" equals a line, make this "===". Dig 3 holes STRAIGHT and then put 1 water bucket in each end and then get the Water from the middle and the water well keep regening so the water is Infinite.

 

The Castle

Hello everybody, I have built a castle and I'm posting it here! hope All of u likes it.

 Download

ScreenShots:

The Entrance

Fountain

Thrones

Stairs going to 2nd Floor

How To Get a Debug World in Minecraft

Hello my fellow minecraftians! Just recently, or the other day, I had stumbled on the idea on a new world... So, I went to change it to creative (For building), and I had no idea that I had been holding the SHIFT button. Suddenly, I fell across a “Debug” mode. I had no idea what happened at the time, so I simply created the world. What happened when I was done making the world, some sort of weird thing happened. When I spawned in, the world wasn’t a flatland world, nor a normal generated world. It was a world which I could not break anything, and I had no ability what-so-ever to break blocks. All that the world was, was a world with all blocks.

Okay the story on how I found of this is done, so I am now gonna show you all how to get this. Bits and bits of info were showed in the beginning, so here is how you all get this mysterious “Debug” mode.

Step 1: Get yourself to “Create a new world”. Finally, find the World Type button.

Step 2: Hold the shift button, and click on the World Type thing until you find the Debug mode. You are done with this already!

Well there you have it! You won’t spawn on the blocks that are featured, so you have to fly a little to get to them. Here is a picture on one of the many chunks of this world: 

That is it! I hope this helped! This little, well big world features every block in every position. so some have more than others, as you can see.

 

So, I'm sure alot of people look at minecraft and think how awesome it would be to make a game, except just using computer resources, and being able to get right into developing after a little practice. Well then you have come to the right place! Let's get right into it! Note that I don't believe it works on mac. Sorry, mac users.

You will need:

---

-A computer
-Notepad
-A good idea

---

The basics

---

We are gonna be coding in batch, an extremely simple coding language. Don't expect to have any music or images, just text, however you can add colour to the text and background. The first thing you should type is @echo off, trust me you will need it. Next let's do a title. Just type "TITLE [Title here]" I'll call mine "Cupcake" ( Don't ask why I did, I just did ).Heres how it should look:

@echo off
TITLE Cupcake

Now let's add a new section! Skip a line and put a : before anything.  A very important command should be added to every section and always be first which is called "cls". If you don't, all your text will pile up on the one screen. Here it is now

@echo off
TITLE Cupcake

:Menu
cls

---

Writing the code

---

There we go! Now let's add some actual text. Type echo to have text there. If you want to skip a line type "echo." No, that dot on the echo is not a fullstop for the sentence, it's what you need to type. If your gonna make a game you got to have a few options somewhere so let's add some for Starting, and exiting. A helpful thing is to convert a image to text! Just go into any photo editing program (Yes, even MS Paint) and type "Menu" or something up in a fancy font (The best things you could do is have the text black and the file as a .jpeg) then go to  and do your stuff! (Not required). Ok so now let's take a look about how the .bat file looks now! (The menu text is messed up on this blog, so I won't include it on my file).

@echo off
TITLE Cupcake

:Menu
cls
echo Hello, welcome to the greatest cupcake of all time!
echo What would you like to do?
echo.
echo 1.Start
echo 2.Exit
echo.

Right now the player can't type anything, and if you open the file it will close in a flash. Let's add in an input! Type
"set /p input=[Anything here]" Now the user can input, but it will do nothing and close the file. Let's make it so that typing "1" or "2" or "Start" or "Exit" will work. Type "If "%input%"=="[Insert text here]" [Insert command here]. So there is quite alot of "Insert here stuff" Basically if you type "1" or whatever in there it will run the Specified command in the second box. This can start an app, create folders and stuff, but we are making a game so we won't need it to run anything else. If your making a text game mainly on the second blank spot you will be using goto "section" (Sections are the things like :Menu). As for the exit option all you need to type is exit in the command. Now let me edit up my batch file.....Ok! Here is the file so far!

@echo off
TITLE Cupcake

:Menu
cls
echo Hello, welcome to the greatest cupcake of all time!
echo What would you like to do?
echo.
echo 1.Start
echo 2.Exit
echo.
echo Type "1" or "2" to do their respective uses
echo.
set /p input=Enter:
if "%input%"=="1" goto
if "%input%"=="2" exit

While only typing "2" works right now, you can still run it! Check above photos for it in action. Now I think it's about time we add a new section. Let's make this game ask for what to call you. But first we gotta add an "Invalid" section, otherwise typing something that is not "1" or "2" will take you to the name. Also use a command called "pause>nul" it will make it so that if you press any key any commands after that will activate. Let's add all that stuff now.

@echo off
TITLE Cupcake

:Menu
cls
echo Hello, welcome to the greatest cupcake of all time!
echo What would you like to do?
echo.
echo 1.Start
echo 2.Exit
echo.
echo Type "1" or "2" to do their respective uses
echo.
set /p input=Enter:
if "%input%"=="1" goto
if "%input%"=="2" exit

:Invalid1
cls
echo Your input is invalid, please
echo enter a valid entry.
pause>nul
goto Menu

There we go! Now let's get the name done. This time you don't need to add the input stuff, as no specific name is needed. We will be taking advantage of set /p. Type in "set /p Name=[Insert text here]". It's not like the name is useless, you can tell the game to use it! Now that we have a new section we should probably finish off the input command we put previously. There we go!

@echo off
TITLE Cupcake

:Menu
cls
echo Hello, welcome to the greatest cupcake of all time!
echo What would you like to do?
echo.
echo 1.Start
echo 2.Exit
echo.
echo Type "1" or "2" to do their respective uses
echo.
set /p input=Enter:
if "%input%"=="1" goto Name
if "%input%"=="2" exit

:Invalid1
cls
echo Your input is invalid, please
echo enter a valid entry.
pause>nul
goto Menu

:Name
cls
echo Hey there, what's your name?
echo.
set /p Name=Name:
goto Stuff

If we want the game to use what we put in as our name type in %Name%. Were gonna be coming to an end soon so let's just get the last few details done.

@echo off
TITLE Cupcake

:Menu
cls
echo Hello, welcome to the greatest cupcake of all time!
echo What would you like to do?
echo.
echo 1.Start
echo 2.Exit
echo.
echo Type "1" or "2" to do their respective uses
echo.
set /p input=Enter:
if "%input%"=="1" goto Name
if "%input%"=="2" exit

:Invalid1
cls
echo Your input is invalid, please
echo enter a valid entry.
pause>nul
goto Menu

:Name
cls
echo Hey there, what's your name?
echo.
set /p Name=Name:
goto Stuff

:Stuff
cls
echo Oh so it's %Name% eh?
echo that name sounds cool!
pause>nul
goto Loss

:Loss
cls
echo You lost the game.
echo You mean we didn't begin?
echo The whole goal of this game was not to tell me your name
echo (Not that you can skip it)
echo.
echo Try again?
echo.
echo Yes No
echo.
set /p input=Enter:
if "%input%"=="Yes" goto Menu
if "%input%"=="No" exit
if "%input%"=="yes" goto Menu
if "%input%"=="no" exit

:Invalid2
cls
echo Your input is invalid, please
echo enter a valid entry.
pause>nul
goto Loss

---

Finishing up

---

It's easy from here. Click save as, click all files, put .bat at the end of the files name, and then your finished. When you open it it will have a cmd interface and try typing in all the stuff you set it to do. If a black background with white text seems a little blank to you then create a shortcut of the file, then click properties of the shortcut there is a little vanity options for that. If you click the shortcut tab by clicking change Icon you can give it a premade icon or a custom icon (Icons must be a special file, just look up how to make an  icon) The rest should be pretty obvious and easy to figure out. If you want to play my game copy and paste the final code above into notepad and save it like mentioned above.

942 ways to know you are addicted to Minecraft.

You continually refresh Notch's blog for the latest post about the next compatability-breaking update.

You wear a diaper to increase time between bathroom breaks.

You begin to panic when you black screen for more than 10 seconds.

You go to bed in minecraft when you're tired in real life.

You haven't eaten or slept in 24 hours.

You just sit down to mine a few blocks and look up to realize its already been 4 hours.

If you've completed the 404 challenge more than once.

You refresh the mod page hoping for a new mod update to reflect Notch's latest update.

You google "Minecraft addiction".

The only time you see your friends is in-game.

You worry about server griefing while you're offline.

You get excited when Notch releases a demo video about the next update.

You begin dreaming about blocks.

You see a dark area in the kitchen and have the urge to put a torch there.

You smack snow with a shovel and half-expect snowballs to pop out.

You make a website about Minecraft addictions.

You see fog and think about hitting "F"

You look at every building in real life and start seeing it as blocks and measuring it.

You get coal as a gift and think its a good thing.

You are referred by people in real life by your Minecraft nickname.

When you're in public and you hear "ssssss" and you yell "CREEPER!!!"

When you watch too many "Let's Play's" and you begin commentating every move you make.

You are afraid of the dark because you think mobs will spawn.

Your body parts start getting blocky.

You forget to feed your real dog, because you were too busy feeding your pack of virtual dogs...

You hate it when people ask you to eat while playing Minecraft

When it's dark, you try to place a torch.

You re-create your town in Minecraft and live your life in there.

You break all the bones in your hand due to attempting to open doors by punching them.

You see some pesky trees in your yard and think, "I really wish I at least had my wooden axe right now."

You see a stray dog and think, "Dangitt why didn't I bring my bones with me!"

You use Minecraft as a model maker for your dream home/city. (We all have dreams you know)

You hear someone go Uggghh, and you tell your friend, "I think that guy over there is a zombie. Do you have your sword on you?"

You see a beautiful landmark and think, "I bet I could make a cool version of that in Minecraft." And later that night you put a scale replica in you town and say,"Yep, that is as cool as the real Washington Monument."

You see one of those commercial where you sell your used gold for cash, and think, "No way! I'm saving my gold for power rails!"

You're hungry and you think, "Man, I wish I could find a pig right now."

You tested 99% positive for minecraft addiction.

You have submitted over 11 Minecraft addiction jokes to this website. (To whom I thank very much. --Drise)

You try to punch your way through a tree.

You start wondering who people on a server really are.

You begin to view the world as Minecraft.

You punch a tree 5 times hoping it yields some wood.

You try to start a new world IRL because you fell.

You walk into a jewelry store in think "Dang, whish I had a workbench, and a pickaxe".

You hear creeper or zombie noises when you wake up in the middle of the night.

You wonder why a thing doesn't break as easy as in minecraft and why real life is harder.

You start drawing creeper faces everywhere.

You know more about minecraft, than you do in your classes

You suffer from the tetris effect.

You watch Ultimate Survival and Think "I could do alot better"

You start planning what you are going to build the next day, IN YOUR DREAMS.

While fishing you're hoping a fish pops out of the water.

You make cake, but leave the bottle of milk in the mix.

At night you go to bed, lie there five seconds and get up thinking it's day.

You have arachnophobia and begin to see skeletons riding spiders.

You punch pigs when you're hungry.

You punch pigs when you get hurt.

You think Notch is your god and Mojang your church.

You have more then ten Minecraft-related YouTube subscriptions...

You always think with blocks.

You mod your night lights into torches and place them in your house.

When you don't know what to build, you look up famous monuments

You make your own house in Minecraft

You cut part of the bottom of a tree trunk thinking the rest will stay up.

You look at a birch tree in real life and see it as blocks.

When the cat hisses, you run away and come back in 2 minutes looking for the crater.

You give your dog 5 bones just so you can take him for a walk and slap him on the head once to make him sit.

You get arrested for punching sheep.

Your biological clock adapts to Minecraft's 10 minute days and nights.

You see a circle and think "wait, that's not right."

You stay home all day isolated in your room

You start driving minecarts instead of cars

You notice perfectly square brick columns IRL and think, "man, where'd that guy find all that clay?"

Your desktop, mouse cursor, screensaver, and homepage all relate to Minecraft

You start swinging your arms like the minecraft character when you walk.

You are in history class and you imagine the building as if they were built in minecraft

When you bookmark this page.

You walk by sugarcanes and attempt to make a bookcase

You see the sun as a square.

When the server you play on is down you immediately curl up in a corner and cry while playing single player on your laptop with a creeper skin to prevent theft.

When you don't have bread, you align 3 wheats together.

You start eating raw pork.

You try to make friends with wild wolves.

When you stay up late at night starring at your computer trying to find redstone somewhere

You check your backyard mob grinder every ten minutes hopping to find bones and gunpowder.

You jump off a 50 ft tower and hope you land in that 3 ft deep water

You think apples made of pure gold taste delicious

You recreate your real life house in MC, and make better things inside.

You break your head attempting to place a big stone block above you...

You try to organise things in multiples of 4.

You mutter /time day in your sleep.

You attempt to put fires out with your bare hands, then eat cookies until you stop burn ing.

When you say "In Notch's name" instead of "In God's name"

You don't go near obsidian for months because your afraid if you light it on fire it will send you to the nether

When you see a person wearing diamond jewelry IRL, you think, "How the nether did that guy find that much diamonds??!!!" And proceed to ask that person what kind of mining technique they use.

You throw an egg hoping for a chicken to pop out.

You are afraid that your cup of water may flood the kitchen.

You feel strange whenever you see something taller than 64 meters.

You think of the world from a blocky perspective

If you are tired but you can not sleep because it's a day

You fear to go to the woods because you think there are a lot of wolves.

When you will die, you look forward to finally meeting this "re spawn" Button!

You think you can carry 10 billion pounds of stuff in your pockets.

You see a creeper and you piss yourself

You punch the grass on your lawn, and when someone asks you what you're doing, you tell them you're going mining.

The ONLY vehicles you know of, are minecarts and boats. Wooden boats.

You walk on stuff lying around your room, hoping you automatically pick them up.

You listen to minecraft-parodied songs rather than the original.

You Play Minecraft(FULLSTOP)

When diving, you think that you can evade drowning by eating pork really fast.

You dig Diamonds

When you want to make a book stack 3 papers and wait...

You make weapon,and hurt tree!

You start digging a hole and look for caves in real life.

When you see something white in the dark, you think it's a Skeleton.

It gets dark out and you think: "must find coal...)

Your friends make hissing sounds just to makeyou jump.

In math class, your using the calculator to find out just how many cobble you'll need for your next castle.

You always get scared around wooden structures because you think they'll be greifed.

You start finding crafting recipes for common things: Tv:two glass by eight cobble and redstone Pencil: coal and stick Fish tank: two water plus four glass

You try to change pictures on the wall by punching them

You always check your basement for slimes

You walk down the street, saying "THIS TEXTURE PACK IS AMAZING"

You try to hit right click when your real life dog is bothering you.

You picture redstone running through your walls when you turn a light on.

You do research to find out how real life mining compares to Minecraft mining.

You think when you sprinkle ground up bones on to a tree sapling and expect it to suddenly grow into a tree.

You validate 'creeper' as a real animal.

The only animals you've ever known of are cows, sheep, chickens and pigs

You are suprised you get hurt when you make a belly dive from the highest diving platform.

You wonder why the real world is so small and doesn't have snow next to the desert.

You see someone with a checkered shirt and think: Dont tell me you haven't added a HD texturepack.

You think outside the blocks.

Your friend finds you in the garden, in a 5 metre deep hole trying to find iron.

You connect your electrical devices using reddish-black dust.

You place 3 diamonds and two sticks on a workbench and think, "Dang it, why isn't this turning into a diamond pickaxe?!"

You think smashing a saddle on a pig and riding it will make you epic. But the farmer just screams at you.

You go to sleep with your lights on, and wait for everything to get progressively dark before you close your eyes.

You start to make cartoon characters in minecraft.

You think you're dead when you fall 6 feet.

Your "downloads" folder is Full Off Minecraft stuff

You try to attach a stone to your wall and wonder why it falls down.

I Play Minecraft until i can't focus on the screen.

You run away and jump for cover everytime you hear a "Ssssssss" sound, expecting a explosion.

You stuff porkchops and coal into the furnace and hope that 10 secs later a cooked porkchop pops out.

You try to ride a pig on a regular basis

you throw a wooden plank in front of a door and step on it to open it

You can only count up to 64 and then start over at one

Putting a lump of coal on top of a stick you found outside and thinking "Where is my torch?"

You think of redstone instead of wires and minecarts instead of cars.

How many creepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None cause they dont have any arms.

You sit your dog down and expect it to stay there until you stand it up, no matter how far away you go.

You sprint away from your dog as fast as you can just so you can see it teleport to you.

You plant a seed in the ground, thinking it will be fully grown in an hour.

you try to make bread by mashing up wheat on a work bench

you try to do the /fly command and then brake your face trying to fly

You start to see creepers appearing as flowers in your garden...

You look up at the sky to see which way the clouds are moving in order to determine which way is north.

When you hear a dog bark, you quickly climb over the nearest hill/mountain hoping to find a wolf pack.

Your in geometry and you have to find the area of a square, but you already know it because tis the same parameter as the temple your building.

When you pick up steel tools, you think its iron and and if you have one, whack your diamond ring with it.

You're setting up a minecart track and say, "Mom, can i have some redstone?... or maybe just some stone?"

you ride the mono-rail and think "I wonder where the boosters are?"

You go door to door asking for your neighbors to let you inspect their house to make your scale replica of your town in Minecraft.

You constantly wonder, "How does life not lag with this super high res texture pack?"

You say "/give tnt 999" when you're really board and somehow are not playing Minecraft.

You throw dirt in the air trying to make it float.

You spend your school day making textures.

You read all of these jokes hoping for help.

When someone drops wood, you run away because you don't have a sword or arrows.

You chill

You walk into a library and think "It must've taken a long time to get all those reeds."

You see a water fountain and think "Wish I had some buckets on me."

You're heading out to the store, and check and see if you've got everything you need - Wallet, car keys, list of stuff to get, redstone compass...

You try to find a torch when your room gets dark.

Your Face is a Creeper

You punch trees IRL and wonder why your fist bleeds

You try to establish your house on a floating island.

You change your clock time forward IRL to engage hyperspeed.

You hear about the earth running out of resources and think 'just spawn some, damnit!'.

You sit in class and sketch stuff to build later.

You decide to learn Java just so you could make Minecraft mods.

You see solar panels at the store and explain to your dad how they work in Industrial craft format.

When your parents say 'Come on, we have to go now!' and you said 'Wait a minute, I just need to finish this..'

It is physically impossible for you to eat beef, chicken or lamb.

When you see a dark corner you think "I should put a torch there."

You dig holes in your backyard looking for coal and iron.

you ask your P.E teacher if you can go on a creeper pking field trip

you try programing a mod for real life

you broke your hand cause you needed wood.

You get a job as a miner and bring a sword with you.

When you can tell the time of day by looking at the sun

You feel like you need an obsidian panic room

Your scared that monsters will spawn out of your shadow.

you can eat gold !

You lay your building materials in geometric-grid shapes expecting them to build themselves.

You trade your olex for a clock that only shows day-time and night-time

You burn real pigs and wonder why they don't drop cooked porkchops.

You punch trees in real life to the point where you rage because its too slow without your diamond axe.

you watch bluexephos and then attempt to sing the diggy diggy hole song!

When 64 seems like an important number

you see an ugly building and think "I need a new texture pack"

When you want pork, you go find a pig to kill

When you want to pick something up you start punching it first.

you see a dead skeleton and try to take his bones and arrows

You go and play another game and DIE SKOL AFSOLFAO SLASPÖ

When you see a thunderstorm you become extremely scared of pigs and all things green

when you click on this site.

You smelt your own wedding ring to make gold.

You think you can dig up dirt in 3 seconds

You try and make a diamond pickaxe

Reading this entire list.

You try to change texture packs in real life.

You try to mod real-life.

you think that your render distance is low when it is foggy in real life.

You are terrified of the color green.

You break your door with an axe hoping it's miniature version will drop to the floor to be re-used.

if you see a creeper at your door telling "oh what nice house you got here" you run away telling "panic" and you falling down by dizzy.

You can describe, in-depth, three different mining systems and their varying efficiencies for finding ore.

When the entirety of your absent-minded doodles consist of designs and schematics for mechanisms or new projects.

You look at a building and image what it would be made of in Minecraft.

You beat the crap out of your computer waiting for a small flat pixelated portable version to pop out

You try to collect parts of your house.

you look at your clock or wristwatch and expect it to be half blue with the sun and half black with the moon

You build a clock that only has "Day and Night" on it.

Minecraft its a funny game im right?!

When you hear footsteps you grab the nearest pointy object and hide behind the sofa waiting for the creeper to pop out.

When you go outside you start punching trees

When you make a site to know if you're addicted or not..

Everything is blocky, even your eyes.

You cry for days when you lose your minecraft saves.

You have all the icons from Orion-Pyro

You have memorised all the splash screen messages.

You know about Dr. Leon Sisk's existance from Bobby Yarsulik's song, "PigMen Story" and also know he actually is a real person.

If you get a raging boner after seeing all the dicks on multi player servers... You mite be a faggot.

You see something green and grab out a wooden sword and charge

You crouch to make sure you don't fall off

You start to think of clothing as skins.

You try to find lava for your new house.

you wonder why things on the ground are not popping in to your quickbar

You start to to call yourself Steve and wish you could change your skin.

You are looking for the create a new world button when things go bad on Earth.

You hold shift to not fall from a building

you keep a list of your mod names,just in case there is a new update

you turn your car into a minecart.

You can't make a perfect circle in the real world.

You call your parents pussies because "they disabled hostile mobs spawning".

You walk for ten minutes trying to find a new biome.

You think about digging up the floor and look for iron under it.

When your parents come in the room, you scream, thinking its a creeper

When something happens to your minecraft you cry

When you get bored of minecraft you watch youtube about minecraft or go to the forums

You make a facebook so you can like this page or any other minecraft page.

When you hear Notch has twitter, you delete your facebook, and go on twitter.

Every site you make an account, you use your minecraft name

You don't care about dying because you think you can respawn.

You try to punch cacti without being hurt... ouch!

You keep refreshing this site to see if your joke has been added.

Creepers are green Spiders are black Now your shelter is under attack

You see a beautiful sunset and think "Hey, that's just like Minecraft"

You try to milk a giant squid, and when you fail epicly, you think: "Curse the Beta 1.3 update!"

You cut down a tree in real life, and once you regain conciousness in a hospital with severe breakages in all your bones, you wonder why gravity sudeny started working.

When you see green jello in your fridge, you slash at it wildly with your sword, and later wonder why it didn't multiply or attempt to eat you.

You want to have everything infinite in REAL LIFE.

You play on "PEACEFUL" because you hate that ... SsssSsss......

You start smashing your head at table when Notch release minecraft update and the mod's you really like gets broken.

You never try to catch squid with a fishing rod because you read on MinecraftWiki that it is impossible.

You put a piece of coal on a stick thinking that it will instantly become a torch that never burns out or lights stuff on fire.

When some-one asks you how big your house is, you proudly answer, "Four chunks."

You look at a map of a round Earth and think, "Where are the Edgelands then?"

Your wallpaper is minecraft.

you see a person and think: man, he needs to change skin

You go out in the morning looking for some arrows/bones/feathers

You never go outside for more than 10 minutes.

You try to press e to open your inventory and place your new dirt and rocks in there...

You live in constant fear of your neighbors punching through the wall and stealing all your valuables.

You throw coco beans at a sheep hoping it to turn brown.

You eat nothing but pork chops.

You sit around hoping to see a pink sheep.

You try to swallow apples with 8 cubik meters of pure gold around it, atempting to heal all of your woulds

You try to change your skin if you think you look ugly.

You hit a real crafting table and think a gui will show up and get frustrated by that.

Everyday, you watch at least 2 Minecraft videos

You see the sun and moon as squares

You can carry 81365 cubic feet of stone.

You think bears are a mod.

In real life you think that bookshelves are for decoration only

You can't hold a conversation in real life.

You started thinking electricity works the same as redstone and becomes surprised hearing that wires are circular.

your dream is what you did earlier that day on minecraft

You dream in Java code.

You see a car and go, "How!?"

When you look into a mirror, you think about F5 and i

When you go to the beach you take sand and come home and out it in a furnace

You build your room full-detailed at a scale of 1/1000 (no, really, its scary)

You think "this will make things easier!" when you see floor tiles.

You carry a grid-paper notebook on you at all times.

You cry when your wolf drowns.

when you star a painting and put it on the wall its blank as you forgot that paintings only automaticaly paint themselfs in minecraft

You want to know what texture pack it is when u go outside

You don't understand why your dog in real life doesn't sit when you right-click on it.

When there is a blackout, you try to wire your computer into a redstone torch.

Its a sqaury joke you got there

You hear a tyre hissing and you run away.

You make a site that has a werid name for minecraft addicts

You don't go out at night because you think Zombies will come after you!

You look at your bed and wonder why it isn't red.

You don't get a job because you think you can make your own with self-harvested resources.

You dump a bucket of water on a flat surface and wonder why it doesn't flow towards a hole you placed 7 meters away.

You wonder why your computer has colors other than black and red.

You see a spider and wonder why it's not as big as you are.

You start telling people "I like your skin. Where'd you get it?"

You see a dead person lying on the ground and wonder when they'll respawn.

You wonder how the Empire State Building was built when the sky limit is only 64 meters above sea level.

You See a book IRL and you wonder when Notch will let you write in it.

You have a Minecraft themed birthday with a creeper cake.

You kill an animal and wonder why it doesn't disappear in a poof of smoke.

Whenever there is a thunderstorm in real life, you are scared that monsters will spawn.

You wonder why you don't move upward when you walk into a ladder.

Whenever you get hurt in real life, you imitate that "Ohff" sound that you make in minecraft when you get hurt.

You punch someone and wonder why they don't turn red and jump backwards.

You place a cake in real life, and wonder why punching it doesn't make small portions of it disappear

You start seeing pigs fly through your screen when you're actually riding them off a cliff.

You see a sky scraper and think "that can't be right, the world isn't that high."

You try to break stone with wood.

When you stop listening to the real version of the song and listen to the Noteblock one instead.

You see a rectangle and think: "thats almost right!"

You always bring two extra porkchops when going diving.

When it's dark, you fear that a creeper spawn behind you.

You are actually reading this.... to see if you are addicted.....

You go out in a thunderstorm with a pig waiting for a lightning to strike it so you can have your own zombie pigman

You wonder why your hand gets bloody one you punch things

You make a giant creeper out of wool and fill it with TNT so you can blow it up when a sheep walks near it.

You find some obsidian and try to set it on fire so you can see your deceased grandfather

You never swim in the ocean without a fishing rod because of your perfectly rational fear of fireball-spitting-floating-jellyfishes

You sing the Minecraft "TNT" song everytime you hear Taio Cruz's "Dynamite"

You often get splinters in your knuckles due to the amount of wood-punching you do.

You drink milk by pouring it on the ground.

You start thinking about how epic your house would look with a few creeper traps.

You start raiding graves to make some fertilizer and tame all the wild wolves you come by.

You dig to the core of the earth, and you think you can survive the lava since you have hax on.

When it's dark, you try to /give 50 64.

When you see a shovel and start thinking about starting a mine in your backyard.

you hang up a painting and take it off repeatedly thinking it will be a new painting

You lay 2 sticks and 3 chunks of wood on your kitchen table.

you start putting rocks in your stove.

you try to make a wooden pickaxe out of fallen sticks

You try to put a pumpkin on your head.

you tried and failed to get to the bedrock layer

You find yourself fiddling with sticks and stones on a crafting table

You expect your friend to turn red for a couple of seconds when you punch him.

You look at your wife's jewelry box and say "Yes! I can finally get obsidian!"

Whenever you're wife gets angry, you think of the Charlotte mod and throw a flower at her to make her stay put.

You Try punching a Tree

You see real creepers

You continue to ask to be OP

When you are driving and see the fuel gauge going down you ask your passenger: "Hey, you have any spare coal?"

You use your wives diamond jewlery with sticks hoping for a pickaxe.

You make sure there isn't any way creepers can get into your house before you go to sleep.

You see a tree in real life and immediately calculate how many tools you can make from it.

You accidentally hit your dog and wonder why it's eyes aren't red.

When it starts getting dark you jump in your bed and go to sleep.

You build boats

You put your mom's ring's Diamond on the end of a stick attached to another stick and try to dig with it.

Every day, when you have to go to school, everything looks smooth and hi-resolution, and you think, wait, thats not right

You meet a blind person and think it's Herobrine.

When your motto is thinking outside of the block.

You wish for a minecart every time you need to go somewhere irl.

You cannot go to sleep unless the whole area is sleeping,

you have played more than 10 minecraft adventure maps

You jump into lava thinking you have god mode on.

You sat through this entire list.

Every light in your house has to be on.

Your pulse shoots off every time you hear a bow twang

You expect leather to pop out of a cow after it dies.

You find diamond in real life and try to make armor out of it.

You disassemble your computer and look at your motherboard: 'Woah, the guy who created this deserves a free internet.'

When youre stuck, you think you can just jump and put some dirt under you.

You keep your old computer because it has all your minecraft saves on it and you dont have a USB stick.

When you get greifed you start to treat everyone on the server as greifers. (even admins/ops)

You need a pick axe, oh wait, yes I have in my backpack

You have read the entire 'Art of war' thread on the forums and actually understood it.

When you see something ugly you think "Man i need to change my texture pack".

You feel like pressing shift-f whenever a game lags.

When you know the exact circumstances for leaves not to decay in alpha.

You think real spiders are midgets

When you get told that riding pigs is apparently a bad idea.

When your wolf says CREEPER than cry!

you walk up to people and hit them so you can take stuff of there dead bodies

you can survive a head on collison with a minecart going at full speed

You are still reading this

You see tree's waving in the wind. You say, " Thats not right..." .

You place a rock against the wall and when it drops, you wonder if it was gravel.

You're drawing minecraft figures all over your homework.

You shout "HAX!1!!!1!" when someone runs by faster than you can walk.

You attempt to re-texture IRL.

When your bored you try to add a mod.

You make a house dedicated to crafting

You try eating 10 un-cooked porkchops and wonder why you got sick.

You are no longer impressed by gold medals.

When you see a pig get hit by lightning in real life, you expect it to turn into a Zombie Pigman.

You refuse to take trigonometry because is it based upon heresy. (circles)

You stab a a sheep with a sword and the wool doesn't fall off, you call the president and tell him to fix the bug.

when you watch movies you think: ''c'mon just jump in the water it will be ok''

You know what a creeper actually is...

I guess you can say that Minecraft is pretty.. *Sunglasses* Top Notch.

You call yourself steve.

you think you have to press ''T'' before talking to someone

You read all this stuff here.

All your friends were made through Minecraft.

You get on minecraft at 6:30 then someone asked you what time it is and look at the clock and it says 5:45...

you have attempted to ignite a living pig in an attempt to cut out the time it would take to cook it's pork

You go out at night and worry,"Am i gonna get eaten by zombie"

You see flowing water and think "I'm going the other way"

You jump off a building, thinking you can eat an apple later.

You end up breaking your neck from looking up to see where the sun is.

You we're mining on a cave when you saw 50 creepers chasing you and you won.

You avoid moss stone because you are afraid that a dungeon might be near

The only way you spend time with people is on SMP.

You read every single one of these.

You see a TV and wonder how the redstone circuitry works.

You know every block id.

When you get stuck, you jump up and punch at the ground continuously, but no dirt appears.

You've burned down your house trying to create a Nether Portal.

In Geometry class, you suggest you spend a little more time on cubes.

You were sleepy and punched your bed.

you expected a mere metal bucket to hold a cubic meter of lava.

You poured a bucket of water on top of a mountain and were disturbed by the fact it didn't create a waterfall

you tried to carry 2,301 cubic meters of sand.

you punch things to pick them up.

You are afraid to go within a 5-meter radius of sprinklers.

You search all the sports channels looking for a Spleef match that's going on.

When Creeper stops meaning the guy who's a creep.

You cant stop listening to the "Form this way" yogcast music video.

When you hear a lot of sizzling and yell 'CREEPER GANBANG!'

You have several Minecraft related apps, even ones that do nothing like the Redstone torch app.

your watching TV and you wonder how to make it with redstone

You Punch Trees in your backyard When you want a new house

You look at grass IRL when your low on seeds in Minecraft and say "Dangit, I should've brought my hoe."

You get home from a car trip, cautiously walk into your dark house, and jump out in every room swinging a stick around in case there are creepers who have spawned, and then go to sleep with every light in the house turned on.

You have dreams about Minecraft updating.

You're constantly dissapointed with modern architecture, because you know you could build better in-game.

you look at a cow and wonder how much leather will drop

You hear groans and run only to find out that it was only your big brother

You jump off a high cliff into shallow water thinking you will be just fine by hitting jump.

You see a forest and think "I can build a wood fortress!"

You refer to Notch has "The Creator".

You always place your hands on the AWSD keys and mouse while waiting for stuff on your computer to load.

You refresh this page constantly to see if your joke has been added yet.

You get a watch thinking it shows a sun and moon.

Youve actually read all of these, shame on you...

You think that a creeper caused the Haiti earthquake.

You made Minecraft forums your homepage.

You see a jellyfish and run for your life, thinking that it will blast you with flaming snowballs.

You see strange landforms in real life and think "HEROBRINE".

You try to punch a tree in real life, hoping to get wood, but then you're just disappointed.

You never go underground in case of the Obsidian Skeleton.

You put cactus in the oven, then hope to dye sheep green with the resulting paste.

You go to a graveyard and punch the bodies expecting to get feathers.

You think that spiders won't bite you in the daytime.

You try to shear a sheep with snowballs.

You swim in shark-infested waters thinking that you're safe because you don't have Mo creatures on.

You put four pieces of sand in a grid formation expecting to get sandstone.

You put a log on a workbench expecting to get planks IN REAL LIFE.

you watch commentary by slyfox and yogscast everyday.

It has been 10 minutes and your wondering why the sun hasn't started to go down.

You think cages are Mob spawners

You light a steel cage on fire and put a model of a pig inside expecting swine to be created in puffs of smoke.

You think worshipping Notch is a religion.

You can't read normal clocks.

You go to a shop asking to buy some redstone

You pay people gold instead of money.

Whenever you hear somebody say "skeleton" you pull out your OWN bow and arrows.

You put bones on a workbench hoping to get Bone Meal to grow plants.

you go to the store and ask for 64 cobblestone

You read through 476 Minecraft addiction jokes...

You dream about entering a portal made of obsidian

You start to smack some trees with a piece of meat, hoping it'll magically break and drop some wood.

You start smacking the diamond in your marriage ring hoping you can use it to forge something more useful.

you throw dyes at a sheep hoping the wool will change colors

You kill a spider and hope it drops two string

You submit your jokes to this page just so you can have more to read.

You think spheres are a goverment conspiracy

you go swimming and just before you drown you eat pork

You change texture pacl to make real life look cooler.

You have a nerdgasm when you see a video or picture of Notch and start worshiping your computer.

Punch your dog and expect it to sit.

You dont want to go to hell because you dont want to fight ghasts and pigmen

you shove sticks together and hope for a ladder

you shove a ton of sand and a lava bucket in your oven when your window breaks, and your mum screams at you harder

You punch sheep and get in trouble.

You have made a Notch fan page.

It has been 7 minutes and you wonder why its not day yet.

You try to make a mob trap in real life.

You kill cows and wonder why any leather isn't dropping.

You blame a skeleton for killing Osama bin Laden

You get scared because half the jokes on this site are true for you

You've got a 500 ko text document full of miecraft server IPs

You watch the cows and pigs and think "Why the heck aren't they jumping up and down?!"

You asked a Electrician about working with Redstone IRL.

You punch TNT and are surprised when it doesn't explode.

You're on minecraftanonymous.com.

Try to stop falling by holding crouch. It's Portal 2.

You start digging strait down in real-life hoping to find diamond.

When you hear SSSSS You Freak Out.

You attempt to carry mountains of stone in your pockets.

You wait for the next update in real life.

you think you can shoot 64 arrows in a matter of seconds

expect fire on a stick can last forever

You turn on all your lights cause you think a zombie will spawn

you deny that you're addicted to minecraft.

When somebody asks you what you're wearing, you press F4.

When you google items in minecraft to see if they are real.

When you are checking out at a clothing store, you say, "Do you have a creeper skin on hand?"

pigs are people too and they grow porkchop trees

Think wood is flame resistant if you cut it in half

Watch a video from youtube saying there are dragons in minecraft. Comment this ''Goto .minecraft looks in resources Guy: OHH look theres no DRAGON! goto c.nerd.nu AlLink: Everybody the dragon is a lie! Admin: o.0 you are now banned from this server.

If your in a tough situation you think "what would steve do?"

You can`t stack pork in real-life.

You shove chickens off cliffs to watch them fly down.

You Just read all the above ones

You Explore Real Life Caves More Then You Used To

You fall asleep for about 3 seconds, wake up, and wonder why it is still night time.

You think you can craft a wooden pickaxe and mine rock with it.

You dig kilometres downwards hoping to find diamonds.

I bet you 5 bucks your reading this right now.

You feel giddy when you can hop a fence IRL

put an piece of gold in your oven wait a couple of seconds and make a golden shovel of it

You think that a compass always points to home

you put wheat and cocoa beans in the oven and you expect some cookies

When the sun is starting to go down, you go punch your bed a few times, and say: "You can only sleep at night, You can only sleep at night, You can only sleep at night..." and then go sleeping.

You get surprised when a commpas dosent point to your bed.

You see circles and yell BLASPHEMIE!

You've read every joke above this one.

You kill someone and wonder why no items dropped.

You find some gravel IRL, and think there is going to be a sinkhole once you dig it.

You start to think diamond IRL isn't as rare as people play it up to be

You start to sound like Steve when get hurt

You have OCD

You go to the store and ask for a diamond pick.

You build a lava moat around your house and tell your neighbours "AWARE OF THE CREEPERS"

You think the military modded in their guns.

You are satan.

You drop sand on your head and expect to take damage.

You start hopping aimlessly

When you think about opening your own cobblestone factory by putting running water and running lava together.

You crouch to avoid falling off that cliff

When you see someone dressed as a creeper you get a stick and smack the creeper to death hoping to get gunpowder.

you shoot your arrows in the air sometimes saying HEYO creepers KO

You contracted Blockoid, making you see the world in 1x1 squares

you want to put on new clothes and you try to find the change skin button

You start saying ssssssss in real life.

You actually spent the time to read all 476 of these.

When you see someone with a phone and ask how they crafted it.

you look for creepers to hug every day

You try to punch a tree, but it won't break and you wonder why

you try to make a plane but then realize the mods not updated IRL

The first thing you think in the morning when you are getting dressed is: "what skin do I want to use today"

you are actually pissed when your friend dose not share there mods with you.

When your computer chair is a minecart.

You give a wolf a bone but you wonder why a red collar did not appear on it

you get a mod to put people in the game, then edit the textures to make them look like people you know in real life.

You feed bones from a skeleton to a wild wolf(in real life), hoping to use the wolf to kill mobs.

You see spider webs and think, I didn't know beta 1.6 was out already!

If you think you were born on sand...

You go to an electronic store and ask for 22 reapeters and 125 redstone.

You pick up items and suddenly realize you don't have an inventory.

You scream when you can't find your respawn area.

You think Crayons are Redstone.

You go to Home Depot asking for a diamond axe and 2 stacks of logs

You think in 8-bit.

you keep looking over our shoulder for creepers - THERE EVERYWHERE :(

you make a workbench

When you set yourself on fire, and walk away thinking the fire will go out

You never visit hospitals for any injuries because your fridge is filled with pork.

You wear cyan clothes because then you feel like you are wearing full diamond.

You picked up a bucket of water and dumped at a huge empty container, hope that water will generate itself and fill up the container

When you play other games where there are enemies (CS) when you hear a noise you press F3 and look around :(

You play multiplayer!

You try to find apple tree

Getting texture pack and don't know what flower lokks like. is that creeper???

You watch all 20 Seananners' Minecraft videos... More than once... Plus the two bonus videos

You fly all the way to Sweden just to kiss Notch's feet

You like Mojang so much that you've signed up for Scrolls

You can perfectly play the Minecraft tunes with any instrument, including Note blocks

You don't like green. SSssssssssssssss!

You wonder how do you're able to lie on bed. It's 13:15!!!

You're an ape and you're trolling around when you get chocolate from parents. OMG CHOCO BEANS!!!1

When you get up suddenly you're looking around for monster.

In Halloween, when you see somebody in zombie costume DING-DONGING to your house, you do OSHTOSHIOSHIT and you're throwing egg at him.

You're putting meat in furnace and wonder why it's black, burned crap after some minutes.

You wonder why saplings doesn't grows. OMFG LAGZZZZ!!!1

You're the happiest man when you see Notch one one of MC servers. WOLOLOLO TROLOLOLO WOOOOOOW, It's real Notch! Notch I love you! Give me diamonds! Notch Notch NOOOOOTCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

You spend two months at breaking tree by hand, and another two in hospital with broken hand.

You think you're greatest fan of MC.

You're hitting coal with stick, wondering why it's not turning into torch.

You don't remember where spawn is.

You piss water blocks

You got a pigcreeper

You herp the derp a little more for each block you derp

When you see a green bin you shout creeper

You're afraid of the darkness...and going to sleep with the lights on,dragging your bed into the middle of the room.

Whenever you travel to a beach you wonder to yourself if you just respawned

You venture into caves hoping for diamond and lava

You try to make bread with 3 wheat and wonder why it still looks like wheat.

You think Wal-Mart is INV Edit

you use obsidian to build a portal to the nether

You usually travel in town searching for inspirations to your buildings in Minecraft.

When your elbows hurt from too much playing on your laptop

You hear a bus stop and and panic looking around for a creeper.

You try to put a torch on the wall at night.

You light a single log between stones and light it, expecting it to burn indefinately

You read all of these horrible examples

You think about digging the ground hoping to find some diamonds or a cave.

You Start punching trees and wonder why you don't get any wood

You try to ride a pig to the end of the cliff.

You slice your dog with a kitchen knife and you hope for a block of fur.

You try to use your mom's diamond necklace as a dangerous weapon.

Trying to figure out a way to use Algebra in minecraft.

You destroy Diamond Ores with a wood pickaxe.

On weekdays you drive to work in a minecart, or you forget to go to work because you were playing minecraft

You are asked to bring cake, and you say no because you think it's a lie

You challenge a guy in a skeleton costume to a bow-and-arrow duel

You moved your bed away from any wall

At night, you keep whispering to yourself: "There are no such things as Spider Jockeys"

You try to collect lava with a bucket

You attempt to put a saddle on a pig and ride it.

You mark 11/11/11 (the final release date) on your calendar

You think Creepers caused 9/11

You want to work for Mojang

You get a passport, buy some plane tickets, gather your belongings, and move to Sweden

You think computers are powered by redstone

You start punching trees irl

You add on to this list.

When you hear noises you try to press F3 IRL.

You think that its possible for one man to create an entire mine by himself, with nothing but a pickaxe and a gargantuan amount of torches.

When your having sex, your like, there isn't enough pixels.

You spend days looking for your original spawnpoint.

Your playing minecraft as u read this.

You have your own real life item menu.

You know how to make a functional and accurate clock with complex redstone circuits.

You tell your friends about your diamond mine.

You cut open battery's for red stone.

You try to make a torch by scraping a stick against some coal and you burn down your house.

You are upset when the OneStopModShop isn't updated.

You hug a creeper and it says Sssssss BOOM

You try to run away when you see a creeper shaped bush...

When you get lost you jump off a cliff hoping to appear next to your bed.

You try to use a flying mod IRL but fail.

You think everything is made out of tiny blocks that formed when your life started.

Whenever you go to the beach, you always pick-up some Sand and run around looking for creepers to make TNT.

You try to stick 3 diamonds to eachother, then to a stick

You noticed the copyright.

You watch the yogscast

You play minecraft on your pc and wonder how many redstone repeaters are required to build one yourself

You look up in the sky to find non-rectangular clouds.

When you know how to build a computer with redstone yet you can't help your friend use notepad.

Whats the new type of creeper? ...Do the creep, ssssssssssSSSssss and do the creep ssssssssSSSSsssssss

Your always waiting for new jokes to be posted so you can have more ways to prove your addicted to Minecraft.

Watching a diamond and say: "I need to mine more to get more diamond!!"

You watch Yogscast's "The Shadow of Israphel" series on youtube.

I dont like creeper

Fishing villages aren't in your fishing village. Unless they are.

You like Minecraft.

You only draw in pixels

Team Avolition deserves ice cream.

You think you can go to war with some sticks and meat.

You don't have sugar? OMG, go to nearest river/lake/somethingwet. You'll find some sugar canes.

You think you can easily climb up the mounain tall for 2k meters. Uffff!

You hate cheaters but you're one of them.

when you get up you think "time day" or "time 1"

You accidentally burn down your real house with a flamethrower since you thought you had backups of it.

You mastubarte your self while seeing Charlotte (Female Companion Mod)

When you only think you have to eat IRL when you get hurt

You say to your mom : I can't go to school today, its server is down !

When you are addicted to minecraf you play it Alot :)

When you get mad at someone you wish you could send a creeper to their house

You played some many hours of minecraft non stopped that your bed looks even pixelated.

You try to mod Minecraft, but you blackscreen.

You punch leaves in order to get saplings

You destroy your dog's cage because you think monsters will spawn out of it.

You say stupid things about life.

You want Minecraft so bad you get a pirated version until you can afford the real version

You die in lava just to get rid of your bad items.

You can store 64 chests... In a chest.

You step on spiders, expecting string to pop out.

You start dumping sand and gunpowder together and hope for a block of TNT

When you wonder why the Minecraft update isn't on the news.

IRL you set a tree on fire.

When you think of 11.11.11, you don't think of Skyrim, you're thinking of MINECRAFT.

You destroy your boat and wonder why it's not a minature version to pick up.

Your still reading this EVAN THOW YOU KNOW YOUR ADdicTEd

You have read every single page in the minecraft wiki

Your walking outside, see a wolf, and try to give it a bone you always carry in your pocket, in case this happens.

You punch your best friend to death than look for coal.

You have a whitelist at your house because your scared a noobs going to run in and burn down your house.

You kill yourself, expecting to return to your spawn.

You make a portal from nearest and hardest material that you can find and then you try to set it on fire to make it work.

You drink milk by pouring it out on the floor.

645. if you suck

Seach for Minecraft app for Ipod so you can play everywhere.

You enter a room with a dark ceiling area and begin to cringe at the threat of Para-Creepers.

You stare at a cow attempting to see the pixels in it's skin. Then you actually see them.

You plan to go to MineCraftCon 2011

You punch your brother and try to get your pet dog to kill him.

Jumping up one meter becomes very easy for you...

You try to light obsidian on fire!

When you punch a sheep, you are surprised wool doesn't come off.

You have read through 644 minecraft addiction jokes.

You this page is a shitititititititititiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipupupupaspooppopopopopomegutacomecacaaaacacacacacacamierditaskd`pedopedopedopedodooodododod

When you start to punch all of your family,because you think PvP is on.

You warn about creepers to your dog IRL

Punching trees gives you hard wood.

You carry your bed around in your pocket, just in case

Getting on during Monday at 6 AM to do last minute redstone wiring before schools starts, then looking at your clock and it reads "Wednesday, 7 PM" yet you just don't care.

If you see blocks everywhere IRL

You are reading this all :D

You see creepers out of the corner of your eyes.

When you heard Osama Bin Laden died you celebrated in minecraft

You set forest fires because you can replant saplings.

When a robber enters your house and tells you give money you think (DAMN grieferz!!!!..%)

You try to open your door with a wooden plate

You always have spare pork in inventory.

You start to wear minecraft related clothing.

You think your body is made for pixels

You smell like poop

Your joke was terrible, play Minecraft.

You believe Columbus was wrong and that the world is flat.

When you try to find a shop called "Minecraft Skindex"

You start looking up Rule 34 of Minecraft.

You try to make a Log into 4 planks with your bare hands.

You noticed that about half of these are repeats.

You are still reading this.

When you go to turn the game off you don't see the exit button

You hear a crack and shout "SKELETON!"

When you forget the keys to your flat you try to smash your way through the wall

You make a creeper costume and scare your friends everyday.

You wonder why those pork chops you have had in your pocket for a week smell funny

You look around for moss covered stone.

If you take a creeper up in a girls ass you get blue wafles.

you laugh at Pythagoras, diagonal lines, when would you ever need that

You are thinking of ways to ask your friends if they play Minecraft.

Your right mouse button barely works anymore. Derp. :I

When you see the moon you panic.

You put TNT in your crawlspace.

You punch a bull to harvest leather and do not expect resistance.

You add something to this list and it turns out that the thing you're about to add is already on the list.

Whenever you hear 'hero' you scream, "HEROBRINE???? IS HE REAL??"

You die and after a few hours, you think "lets go and get my stuff back."

Chuck Norris Nuff said..

kdokokokdo

when you tried to punch grass

You start to guess how many blocks tall a room is.

You start mining for diamonds with your fists.

You try to fit 64 pieces of wooden planks inside a handbag.

You dig down and wonder why you suffocated

You make spider or creeper noises when you're bored or during an awkward silence.

You think compasses don't point north.

You go to the local quarry and laugh at their pitiful attempts to outmine you.

You walk around outside looking for torches at garbage cans.

You enthusiastically start to dig down when you see some moss on a stone...

You Brake open a jar looking for "Meta-inf"

You sleep in 7 minute cycles

You attempt to make HUGE lego blocks and chop of the pegs before textureing them for your brand new real life minecraftgame

You search creepers for TNT to blow up Mojang.

You think your family are creepers

You've tried porting Minecraft to some other platform

You try to punch a tree with our hand.

When u see an old man you say "why does he use a old man skin?"

You've replaced every lightbulb in your house to a torch, because the "Electric Bulb was redstone.'

You overuse tons of jokes on your website.

When You Realise That 622 Was Actually A Portal Refrence.

Someone invites you to a party, so you enter the address into Minecraft.

You hear an explosion and you thought it was a creeper

you are reading all of this 645 jokes

You go out every day with a diamond sword and some pieces of pork and went searching for creepers

All your pictures become pixilated

You think a zombie is going to attack when you are sleeping

You watch a minecraft video and you try to click on singleplayer with your mouse.

You always try to kill people

You've buyed a shovel and pickaxe.

After Sitting In Your Yard You Try To Mine For Iron And Break Your Wrist

You try to start building a ladder from sticks and making a castle in a tree.

You don't know anymore examples because you keep telling yourself you aren't addicted

You build your house with wool

you try to make a crafting table with wooden planks.

There are cows in your backyard

You try to make wool out of nine pieces of string.

In real life, when you want to ask the world something you press Enter on your keyboard when the port is in the dirt thinking the world will see what you said.

When your car breaks down, you start chanting /home, and /spawn.

laalaaalaaalaaalaaa

You start to wish that you could start building your house out of "dirt blocks"

You spend hours on end making traps and drop collectors

you Try to Play Minecraft on an 8 bit RedStone Computer in Minecraft.

You only ever loged in to Mine craft You Never plan to loged out.

You Do Not Belive Tryangles can exist.

In the begining There was Nothing Then a Huge Bang Notch the Creator of all we Know came in to existance. over the next 7 days notch invented doors , glass , Sand ,Fire , Stone , Axes , AND The almighty CRAFTING BENCH.

Youre house is filled with Chests and broken PicAxes. but no chairs or Tabbles.

You visit this site.

You spilled your cup of water and the whole room get flooded irl.

You think if you travel to far away from home it will dissapear.

You don't beleve in triangles.

You get annoyed at the bad or repeated jokes here.

you google minecraft paercraft

You think frogs are non-existant

800!

You freak out when you find a girl.

You see a ocean and say " I wonder where all the squids are?"

You find a building made of stone and think: "Wow that guy had a lot of coal!"

You try to get a texture pack in real life.

you've red this list long enough to 800th.

If you punch ice in real life, and still don't get ice. (i actually did this one lol)

You read this whole page. (800th joke!)

You ninja someone's sheep with a butter knife and then find you can eat sheep too.

You walk with your dog and hit a vow and wonder why your dog isn't killing the cow

spheres are a walk in the park

Your scared of the dark because a creeper might spawn in your bedroom and blow up your house

You Know The Plural For Penis Is Peni

When you think you can re-spawn so you jump of a building

You make a joke here...and bother to spell correctly.

You removed the staircase in your house to make a place to sit, then stole signs from various public venues to make armrests.

You Shit On Your Pants And Eat The Shit Thinking its a cooked porkchop an yu kan it yur chit bicos is delishos yo me la it todo el day and is delicho

You put dirt by grass and wait for grass to spread.

you duck for cover when you hear a crow caw and think someone is shooting at you with a bow.

You spend 1:47 minutes reading every single last one of these jokes.

You hug creepers

You think the game is your life and your life is a game.

The Fact That Your On The 800th Joke....

You ride a minecart at night beliving everyone around you is a zombie

In real life you put two singns on a stairs and think it's a fotel.

You add a joke on this site.

You continue reading the "Addiction" jokes to prove that you'r not addicted.

You hit stone with your hands and wonder why no cobblestone has popped out.

You tile your bathroom with coloured wool.

When you attempt to fly a pig of a cliff

You follow a person because they say they have cookies.

Notch see you

If you read this do not click the Link!: www.youtube.com/user/Zacguy22Reborn/

You sleep with lights on,because you fear that monsters will spawn when you sleep.

You fill up your chests with diamonds

You ask notch to build the sound barrier for you.

when you see a table your middle finger starts to twitch

CAKE :)

8==D

You visit this site Twice!

when you see a ball/circle you say "WITCHCRAFT!"

100. You have a redstone computer in you house.

You make models of hostile mobs to scare people.

You have made a house of every kind of block possible.

You write a joke here and find it racist...

800. You loook for cubes in circles

you read 799 other ways to know you are addicted to Minecraft.

That you believe Jesus is the son of Notch.

When your dog's tail is down, you give him Bacon.

You are scard to play on hard

You Realize that there are now 700 jokes

You see cubes everywhere

You make a drowning trap at a holiday resort to try and get some rare loot.

You imagine versions of other games with Minecraft graphics.

You mine at your backyard

You find a lot of red stones and align them to try and make a circuit to open your door.

It doesnt matter if you love notch or herobrine you will allways be addicted :)

you begin to fuck creepers

When your scared when you are going to bed, because hostile mobs might spawn in the dark.

golden wang

You have nightmares about digging holes straight down.

When you see zombie movies with your friends, you say: "hey! he killed that guy! he didn't drop feathers!"

You think dirt can float in real life.

You are like whats minecraft addiction?

You think (why wont mine appear here?)

You wonder why a miniature door does not appear when you chop your door down.

Whenever you see a Chicken you punch it for feathers

You get 100% positive on the test

You read 800 different "you might be addicted if. . . " jokes on this site while playing Minecraft.

You read all 800 jokes

You try to open your inventory.

Fuck with the creeper in your bethreoom

When your cat hisses at night you think its a creeper so you run outside grab your cat and go into the dark basement but then you think "What am i doing a monster will spawn!!!" so you run to the mountains to find coal for torches but you don't have a pick so you go punch some trees for a few days you fall asleep and wake up in a hospital strapped to a bed.

You're adopted.

You wonder why you cannot scale walls with water

You try to break stone by punching it with meat/

Lol test

The cake is not a lie...

You try to make a texture pack for the real world.

Never go to Nether

800. You wonder what minecraft addiction is

When you're in the forest and hear a snake you start yelling "Creeper!"

You wonder why this isnt minecraft font

You kill a pig expecting pork to come out.

You think that the moon rises after the sun sets.

When you think some of these arent very good...

You Break adminum using a creeper

You move at exactly 4.37 m/s and you understand this joke.

You throw some random stones and coal into your oven expecting a meter-sized cube of solid rock to come out.

You dig down 6 feet and find solid rock.

You meet Obama and ask to become OP

You start a server for a party

You saw Herobrine

You ride pigs

You know how to make a perfect circle out of cubes.

You think 925+ Minecraft-based jokes you read will give you ideas for even more Minecraft jokes on this page...

You think the people of Skyrim will crash SMP servers on 11/11/11

You're deathly afraid of steam and any noise it may make.

Just being on this page means you're addicted.

You crush some roses, go to a farm, and try to dye a sheep to get extra red wool.

You have sudden urges to hit the ground looking for 'Ore'.

You try to get in your bed IRL then a text appears and says you can only sleep at night.

If you hear a sssssss....you run away.

You think you can fly when saying /fly

You wonder why you dont go super fast when saying /setspeed 50

You want to renovate your house and start breaking bricks with a pickaxe while thinking you will receive the bricks back.

you smash a pig in real so you get his meat

You didn't even need to get tested to know you're addicted to Minecraft.

You don't stop submitting sentences here.

You use bonemeal to grow trees.

You wonder, why the compass don't points in the direction of your spawnpoint.

You search slimes under your bed.

You aren't addicted to minecraft.

When you see a creeper outside your door and push the closest thing in front of you 3 feet.

You think your girlfriend is charlotte from the charlotte mod.

You always wear a blue shirt

You broke your arm trying to cut down a tree. When you've finally done it you wonder how it's possible that whole tree falls down when you cut only one block.

You throw some lava in water and then wonder why there's no cobblestone.

You broke some iron things from your kitchen hoping you can make sum armor.

You spam on single player.

you add a joke here

you converted to creeperism (the worship of creepers) and hope you will be imune to explosions

You look at your room at night and pray that a zombie won't spawn and attack you in bed.

when you punch your friend 20 times and wonder why he is not dead yet

You know your a Minecrafter when you try to craft in the real world.

you think of what your going to build next while in math class

When you listen to The Shaft Podcast, and laugh every time they say "Poop Block" :)

When you build geometric shapes in Minecraft and make up problems for them to help you study for a geometry test.

You try to add mods to real life.

You talk about your adventures every day in school

You continually make buildings every world you have

You avoid traveling too far because you don't want to sink in the far lands.

You read all 900 jokes on this page.

You memorize the data values of all the minecraft items.

When you punch a tree IRL

You reuse jokes in this list and feel important.

you begin to punch your wall and when your parents ask what you are doing you say " i'm re-organizing